Healing Rain

Sunday May, 18th 2008 marked six years since my mom went to heaven after battling cancer for almost five years. Six months before she left us, my mom was filled with the holy spirit and was baptized and all. My family was all outside in the backyard, my dad and my sisters, when she arrived home and I still remember her face and the joy that it contained. It was unlike any mood I had ever seen her in, she was simply bubbling over with happiness and laughter. I felt like I had missed something really big but she told us what it was she was feeling--that of being anointed with evidence of speaking in tongues.

She soon left us because her cancer got real severe but there was a moment filled with an overpowering sense of the spirit of God in that little bedroom outside our dining room as she spoke to each one of us the night before, barely able to breathe and her words were spoken from a parched mouth. But despite all that, her focus was not on her need for earthly things like water. She was praising the Lord right there in her horrible conditions. On the wall beside her bed were pictures the girls had drawn and bible verses we had written out and stuck up. She pointed at that wall and said "make a window. I want to see Jesus." So we removed one of the posters leaving an empty rectangular space but she saw deeper than that. She was right then and there having a vision of the kingdom of heaven she was about to enter and the loving savior waiting to receive her as he smiled at her. She mouthed the words "Jesus, Jesus." I stood in that room with my three younger sisters and my dad, tears streaming down my face at the scene before me. I could just feel the lump in my throat and it was all I could do not to break down right there.

She spoke to each one of us and she wanted Brianna, my youngest sister, to accept the Lord right then and she did. She told us to live our lives for the Lord. She spoke to my dad and me, telling us to love each other. She was right and yet I wanted so badly to crawl up beside her and tell her to not go. To ask her to hold me and not leave me. Don't leave me mommy. I needed her and I could not bare the thought of her leaving this world for good. the tears began stream down even harder.

Six years later and I've grown a little taller and I'm 20 years old and yet I am living out my life for the Lord. he has my heart. I've cried for help and he has come to my rescue, tears in his eyes and his heart breaks to see me and my heart broken. He longs to pick me up and fill me up with a spirit of healing. I've wanted very much for a spiritual anointing from God and Monday, May 19th 2008 at 8:00 pm was apparently that time and sitting in the basement of Randy and Kate Hendrikse's house was most certainly the place. After worshiping with them Kate, this kind motherly lady, asked if anyone wanted something new--like a special gifting--from the Holy Spirit. And knowing that this was it, this was my time and all i raised my hand up high and closed my eyes. They came by me laying their hands on me and I began weeping. I shook with the need for this moment. As they prayed I could feel the holy spirit come to me and it was like heaven was raining down healing rain on me and i felt so free and light and I desired--I craved this so much. This went on for several minutes or maybe a half an hour. I don't even know. But it was beautiful. I was baptized in God's loving spirit and such a bold and amazing feeling came over me. It was like a spotlight was shining on me and my father, my savior Jesus Christ was standing there smiling so hard. The lady prayed prophetically, realizing that I'd lacked a true kind of love in my life over the years. That every time I was sad and rejected, God cried and his heart was broken. She spoke and told me that God just ravished after me and I almost couldn't believe it. I mean I've always know that God loved me and all but this was almost too much.

In my excitement at this glorious encounter and filling of the spirit I worshiped the Lord and jumped in his presence. I was flooded with tears but for some reason I could feel the radiance of a smile coming from Jesus' face. We sang and worshiped the Lord some more and I felt so light and so made new I just wanted to dance. It was a time of healing--a promise that God was giving to start making things new right there.
Somehow.

I am moved
by the good things you have done
by the mercy you have shown to me...
I am changed
by the greatness of your love
you've inspired every melody that I sing

This race is worth running with you by my side.
And you promised to never leave me or pass me by...

Oh but by the grace of God go I
Your mercy and your goodness follow me, all of my days >(travis gandy's song...)