Here I am now. Here I am. I'm here, right now at LLBC. Lake Lundgren Bible Camp, home of the famous Lake Lundgren and featuring a camp that teaches the Bible and yep, here I am. I also get to work with a very famous and inspirational person, Jon Utzat , my counselor from back when I was a wee little camper in 2001 and '03. My he's grown since those years, (not really), but it's great to reunite with someone who has really shown me what Jesus is like, and someone who has led me along into growing deeper in my relationship with him.

I thank you God, for bringing me here and for helping me get through such a great book like "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. As I sit in this boat that is docked and experience the love you have for me
to use
for you
to others.
Lord, help me to be someone who truly embraces a spirituality like no other romantic attraction and perpetual infatuation known to man. Let me throw out the old and take in the
newness
the fresh
the invigorating
blessed gasps of air
of which you've already exhaled onto your creation.
You've saved me from the penalties of
sulfer
red
choking
blood
that which is the sly flatulence of satanic
proportions
and I have no desire for it's pukey, repulsive
nature

I want to lead kids into a definite world of your grace, Father. To let them experience you and only you. To throw away the old of rejection and Christian monotony. To excrete the systematic religious rhetoric and an embrace on a culture war.

We've already lost a war. The war we've been fighting since the beginning of our time, found in our . It is this fight that started when we lie and say we're something else, as if to say we've somehow been exempt from our tendencies to make mistakes. It's a war that has begun when we decided we really didn't need God nor his love therefore revolting against both of those.

It's a war against our natural desires and tendencies, broadened to the term sin. We all have it just like we all have rear ends, we just hide them inside our pantaloons and
forget.
forget..
forget...
The love, the relational sensation, that feeling of connection. We're Christians on a ship adrift in an uncharted sea, numb to the legs that once freely walked the fresh ground. The wood in the ship slowly decays and so does our character, esteem, worth.
Loneliness.
Where is the Christ we committed to so long ago? The one we polished our decks for, raised the masts for, said "aye aye, Captain" to.
Where is he?
Where is the harmony between the tossing waves and this ship which brought us together in tune? Are we just an island bobbing up and down in our Christian swirl of despair?
A ship that at first glance looks
ornate
strong
victorious
But when you hit the deck, the rotting nature of our true identity is exposed and the rotten cargo is smelt. Our canons, aimed accusingly at other ships, bringing them down because of their differences in
opinion
denomination.

Laid to waste for the sake of our own esteem.

It is the outstretched tips of light that brings us back to the harbor. A place of community and love where ships of different sizes can finally be docked for the sake of unity. The Lighthouse Keeper, his footsteps echoing on the worn wood dock, makes his rounds according to his caring nature, cleaning the mold off of every one.
Cleansing
Restoring
Reviving every weathered one to a ship-shape standard of excellence, and the redemptive touch results in a shimmering fleet of worthiness. Every need is met and a love so personal is felt between each and every ship and the Lighthouse Keeper, whose light shines bright into the starry seascape.
Forever.