i am really excited to lead worship in a few days for 24. just the whole thought of coming together for the sake of inspired music and illegal vocal harmonies puts me over the edge. Geiheiheiheihiehiehiehiehiehiehie
sometimes i don't feel like i'm going anywhere-- with God, my friendships, etc. etc.
and it makes me feel a little helpless, and a little bit dumb.
is it a commitment thing---an issue of discipline?
I like to make people laugh, because i like the feeling that joy brings in its unpredictability and empowering. it strengthens, and at the same time weakens tension, lightening the moods of uptight bureaucrats.
I wish i could be a stand-up comedian like my brother. he's got a constant stream of humorous comedy coming to his mind and he delivers it so well. it's all in the timing. but I'm glad to be just the way God intended me to be, and yet i still want to change for the better--I want to go to a place that's better, figuratively.
Is is because I'm not content? Partly.
Yes.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
I'm happy with today, not anxious, and thrilled to see my God in his glory and rising.
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