A.D.D.

I can't think of anything I'd want more than to be a cleaned up version of a little business agent but my ADD--self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder--prevails over all my attempts to do what I want to do: succeed. But what I'm doing now is an exception to it all and that is I'm listening to George Winston piano music while writing a blog about having ADD. That's totally cool because at least I'm confronting the problem that I have and what's more I'm listening to George Winston.
I want more than anything to be guided by the heartbeat of God rather than being contstrained by my emotions that take me along in winding circles.

I want to be free.

I love what life offers me here. Acceptance, friendship, food, fun times, Binaca breath spray, and all the other perks--but I'm leaving out the fact that I'm not offering the world something that I no doubt could be offering it, excellence.

I try to get sleep but it usually comes in coma-forms whereas I'll be going for a jog and then I'll take a break and lean against a tree and fall asleep there for eight hours. That's eight hours I could be pulling an overnighter with. Last night I fell asleep on my couch watching some shots I took which is way less cool-sounding than a jog. The truth is, I haven't taken a jog in almost a month, sad but true. I want to make something of this little life I have and I want it to be big and important. I want it to be like, "Hey God, look at me here! Hey daddy! Look--look what I'm doing with my life. Are you looking at me, God? Isn't this cool. I then want God to look down at me and just smile for a little bit and then burst out laughing. And I don't want the laughter to end and I want to laugh right along with him until we can't laugh anymore. Then I want him to be like, hey Zach, lets go get some coffee.