Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sitting here Fascinated

So I unerstand, sir, it's been a long time since I've written
but please don't grab a sorry kitten
to be bitten
is to be smitten.

I think the reason I haven't written a blog in such a long time is because I'd probably be clogging the arteries of Cyber space with poetic retardation like that and I don't want want to offend the minority races.

Life has really been a challenge yet rewarding too. I don't feel sometimes I'm really challenging myself to the fullest academically, but I do feel something astounding is blossoming in my life and that intrigues me into seeing its beauty.

I love the life God's given me!
I just got done reading Donald Miller's newest To Own a Dragon- reflections on growing up fatherless- and to my astonishment, God's been fathering me all along this journey before I could even walk. Pretty cool. Just the other night I was broken down to pray and lift up my father, the real-life one who has invested his life and love into my life in some way and I am now really feeling a healing sensation from God which makes me want to love him in ways I never knew I could love him. To be quite honest, it freaks me out b/c I shouldn't be naturally having those urges to love him after what grief and the painful scenarios he's caused me. Does he know this? He may or may not. He can only know what he experiences and his father has caused him a lot of grief and confused pain. Anyway I feel excited to see him when he comes down to visit me Friday and I miss my sisters a lot too.

I think writing can really help to unravel the mixed up pieces in the background of our consciousness. And I think writing can sooth the soul and quench our thirst for concrete understanding of emotions.

I like saying the phrase "Cinco de Mayo es my muy favorito holiday" because it makes me feel to legit too quit and that's important an important step towards fitting into society's complex placement scenarios.

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