Almost...

It's almost time to take a break and begin eating extensively...and then there's the leftovers. Thanksgiving! How great can it get? Well, pretty crazy I guess. I pulled in and am sitting in what to me is heaven: a (now) 24 hour coffee shop. How amazing is that. On my way I drove past a building that caught my eye, I pulled into the adjacent dark alley way and slipped on my black gloves. I got out of my car and approached the skeletal, metallic fire escape stairway that hung off the 4-5 story building and I begin climbing till I reached a difficult gated ladder which didn't keep me from reaching the roof. Once there I stood before the beautiful Springfield cityscape and drank it in. I love being where I can see it all, it makes me feel so little and puts everything into perspective. I just did my custom television show which I worked my butt off for. I wanted to do something no one has ever done (like always) which drives me into excessive video producing/editing and little to no sleep and continuous captivity at the TV studio until morning came and I was pretty much ready to go. It went great! My newly friend, Phil, helped me big time with music and being a musical guest. He was hilarious and I really respect the guy for putting what he did into my project and hoping I would get an A which I think I got. It put me behind on my thirty page script which I intend to finish now at this coffee shop through the night. I'm scared, I feel like a failure for being late with it. This is unacceptable.

I got the opportunity to talk with someone very special to me, and it took a turn for the better. I'm learning a great deal in being a better communicator. I'm learning. I was gifted a carton of eggnog--my first of the year! I'm so pumped, I drank like half of it but it was so nice to wake up from a nap and be given something like that. I love eggnog, cottage cheese and a strong cup of coffee--not all together--but I love it indeed. Anyway... I can't wait to see my aunt Trixi, she's a hoot-'n-a-half!

A.D.D.

I can't think of anything I'd want more than to be a cleaned up version of a little business agent but my ADD--self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder--prevails over all my attempts to do what I want to do: succeed. But what I'm doing now is an exception to it all and that is I'm listening to George Winston piano music while writing a blog about having ADD. That's totally cool because at least I'm confronting the problem that I have and what's more I'm listening to George Winston.
I want more than anything to be guided by the heartbeat of God rather than being contstrained by my emotions that take me along in winding circles.

I want to be free.

I love what life offers me here. Acceptance, friendship, food, fun times, Binaca breath spray, and all the other perks--but I'm leaving out the fact that I'm not offering the world something that I no doubt could be offering it, excellence.

I try to get sleep but it usually comes in coma-forms whereas I'll be going for a jog and then I'll take a break and lean against a tree and fall asleep there for eight hours. That's eight hours I could be pulling an overnighter with. Last night I fell asleep on my couch watching some shots I took which is way less cool-sounding than a jog. The truth is, I haven't taken a jog in almost a month, sad but true. I want to make something of this little life I have and I want it to be big and important. I want it to be like, "Hey God, look at me here! Hey daddy! Look--look what I'm doing with my life. Are you looking at me, God? Isn't this cool. I then want God to look down at me and just smile for a little bit and then burst out laughing. And I don't want the laughter to end and I want to laugh right along with him until we can't laugh anymore. Then I want him to be like, hey Zach, lets go get some coffee.